Feedback from teacher:
AssignmentTutorOnline
Hi there Elias,
Thanks for this submission. Please find below a breakdown of marks for the task, and further comments as in-text feedback.
For future tasks, please keep in mind:
– Revisit your introduction: your thesis statement at the beginning was great – but then you did not provide a proper introduction (ie. introduction of arguments/points that will be made throughout the essay).
– make sure that you find academic sources to include in your essay. There are a selection of SEVEN on the vUWS site, and you should have a good number of these as your base. You did not use any and lost a lot of marks because of this.
– Note that the point of this task is that you attend a virtual tour. As such, the ONLY photos you should include are ones you have taken yourself – either via visiting the sites yourself in real life OR screen captures of google street view on a ‘virtual tour’. These also must be captions with the SIX required components.
Take care,
Shanna.
Introduction: 15/30
Paragraph: 13/30
Photo and Caption: 10/20
Literature use/connection: 5/20
he Photographic Essay is a 1,000-word (+/-10%) essay that includes the use of three (3) to five (5) photographs collected during a field trip to a Sydney suburb selected from the list provided below. This independent field trip will take part in week 7 (no lectures or tutorials are timetabled for this unit during this week to give you time to complete this field trip). Your essay should draw on between three (3) to six (6) academic readings from the provided reading list, as well as other independently researched sources of information.
In your answer, you should also utilise your field data (photographs and observations) from your self-guided field trip, refer to the relevant academic literature in the set reading list provided on vUWS, and draw on the knowledge you have gained in the subject. Your field data should be used as evidence to support your academic argument, with specific reference to the features of your photographs being embedded in your essay.
The list of suburbs you can choose to complete your field trip in are:
Ashfield
Auburn
Bankstown
Harris Park
Campsie
Five Dock
There are two assessable components to this assessment: Photographic Essay Part A and Part B.
Photographic Essay Part A is a draft essay, which you will begin in your week 6 tutorial. Instructions for completion of this assessment can be found below.
Photographic Essay Part B is the completed version of your essay, which is due in week 9.
In preparing for your field trip and your final essay, you should consider collecting information from additional sources such as:
ABS QuickStats
Council websites (particularly reports)
Government reports
Newspaper articles
Local libraries, museums, galleries and historical societies
Developing a better understanding of the history and demographics of your chosen suburb will not only help you to construct your academic argument, but will provide you with hints as to which sites you should consider visiting.